Nearly every morning I wake up at 5 am. I read. I let the dog out. I follow my morning routine, day in and day out. Near the end of my early morning, before I walk out the door, I reach over to a rack and pick three neckties. I walk to the mirror and slip collar stays into my shirt. I hold up each tie in the light and decide what’s going to work today. The first tie is always outrageous. Not outrageous like a Gumby tie. I don’t own those kind of ties. The first tie may be plaid when I’m already wearing a plaid shirt or a bold color that I’m not wearing anywhere else, maybe a loud paisley or a bright check. The second tie is simple, but never plain. One color, perhaps knit or maybe with a sheen. The third tie is old and faithful. It’s a tie I’ve worn many times with the same suit and shirt. It’s a tie I’ve worn so many times that the knot almost ties itself. Considering the tie and the shirt collar, I choose my knot. There’s something reassuring about the motions I’ve performed so many times, like the ritual of a worshiper at the alter. When I’m finished, the point of the tie lays exactly in the center of my belt buckle and the dimple is large and centered. I never say anything but an amen might be needed.
As I go out to face a world that I cannot control, I have one thing that they can never take from me. The way I look and the 4 minutes of silent ritual it took that morning to achieve it are mine. I wear it sometimes like a shield and sometimes like a sword, sometimes to offend and sometimes to console. But whatever the reason I wear it that day, it remains as constant as George Burn’s cigar or Batman’s cape. It’s an ever present reminder of who I choose to be, an anchor in turbulent water.
For you it may never be a necktie, but I hope you have a ritual. It might be placing the lighter that your son gave you in your pocket every morning as a token to remind you of his love and what’s most important in your life. Or maybe shaving with a razor that belonged to your grandfather. Perhaps a coin, a handkerchief, or a watch makes its way into your pocket every morning. Maybe it reminds you of someone special, of who you wish to be, or of who you know you are. But whatever it is… take the time to remember every day. Remember what’s important to you, but most importantly remember what you choose to make important.
I’d love to hear about a daily ritual or token you may have.
